BLOG
Do you know how to describe the “real magic” you offer your clients?
There’s a part of what you do that’s beyond, beneath, and before the bounds of language.
As a healer, you know that the color, the sensation, the texture of an event or an emotion carries meaning that the English language often can’t begin to touch.
There’s a part of what you do that’s beyond, beneath, and before the bounds of language.
Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash
As a healer, you know that the color, the sensation, the texture of an event or an emotion carries meaning that the English language often can’t begin to touch.
And, if you’re a therapist whose work is based on talking through thoughts and problems, you know there’s something you do that transcends words. It’s in the holding of the space. It’s in the silences. It’s in the invisible bonds of relationship that allows the healing to happen.
Here’s a secret… it’s that unutterable something that makes your work so unique, so vital, and so uncommonly necessary.
This is the place where you truly want to dwell and it’s the work you truly want to do. It’s the deep, subtle, sensitive work your clients crave. It’s also the hardest to describe and the easiest to undervalue.
When we’re talking about describing the “real magic” we’re talking about writing down the ephemeral stuff that you wouldn’t begin to know how to put on a webpage. We’re talking about it because that is exactly what will bring the right people to your door.
I know, that’s completely annoying and maddening to hear.
(Marisa, you want me to build my practice and reach more people by writing about the indescribable???)
Yep.
At least, I’d very much like you to try. Your power as a healer and transformation professional depends on understanding the depths of you magic. And because it’s going to be more rewarding than any other marketing gimmick you could try.
My own kind of “indescribable” magic
At our house, all I need to say is “it’s for a unicorn client” and my husband knows instantly that it’s not business as usual. This is the work that my better angels don’t want to put off. These are the writing coaching and healing clients whose stories will get my attention at 9 pm on a Friday - even if that glass of wine seems awfully tempting.
Before I go on about “my unicorns,” I will say that I have a sense of deep respect for all of my clients. After seven rocky years of entrepreneurship I have finally discovered to trust my gut and I will either refuse to take or will gently release anyone who will de-center me from my sense of worth. I work with caring, curious souls who do meaningful work and are open to words like “magic.”
It’s just that the unicorns are different.
These are the people to whom I can offer the fullness of my magic. These are the clients who seem to be able to see through the website copy that describes what I’ll do as their “writing coach” and recognize that it’s a full-life healing journey we’re on together. The words will anchor our work, will be a touchstone to keep us coming back and diving deeper and seeing things anew, but the healing, changing, and meaning-making doesn’t end when the next article is published.
Here’s the thing: though I have written about aspects of this work - check out my Sovereignty Sessions page - I’ve worked harder on making the copy sound right than I have worked on getting to the essence of what this unspeakably magical work actually is. It’s easy to put that off since, as I said, it all seems to transcend words, but that’s just an excuse, really…
If you have the power to change lives, you have the power to say how
Photo by Milos Tonchevski on Unsplash
We are creatures of story, of language. The unknown and the ineffable are true aspects of the human experience, but to say “the real magic I do cannot be spoken” is to diminish its real world power you have to change lives.
Truth time: I am fantastically guilty of dodging this particular writing assignment. My first draft of this blog, longhand in my oversized “professional visions” journal was seven pages long and at three different points I caught myself saying “I am still not describing the real magic of my work.”
I kept slipping into telling you, dear reader, how to do it but I refused to engage the question myself.
In fact, when I was going through the final edit of this post I realized I still hadn’t really answered this question for myself. I’d written around it so many times that I’d created some sort of energetic groove in the paper between me and the fullest truth.
I stepped away from the desk and closed the computer. I curled up on the couch and pulled out the journal and I scrawled into the question until my hand ached/ At this point, I have a set of answers I can work with. (I’ll share them soon!) The process needs to be ongoing, but I can tell you I have learned more about the “why” of my work and just what’s makes me exclaim to myself “damn, I love my work” at the end of a call.
How do you describe your magic?
That’s easy… you start by trying. As I can say from experience, all you can do at first is try. You’ll probably do a lot of resisting and avoiding and writing about everything else but the question at hand until you get to the truth that lingers beneath the "unspeakable."
To make the process a little easier, I invite you to try the prompt I offered the Sovereign Writers Circle during our writing practice this week:
There’s a part of your work that’s, well, magic…
You see it in the moments when it’s so clear the transformation happening. You see it when you feel giddy that you get to do this work for a living. You may see the magic in the longing for such moments, knowing that so much more is possible.
It may feel like this magic transcends words. Try anyway. Flow with this energy, this unspeakable possibility now. Ask it to make sense to other people later.
Now, grab your journal or close all the windows on your computer and open a blank doc. Set a timer and give yourself at least ten minutes to write into that idea. I would love, love, love to hear what comes up for you… In the comments, tell me what you did (or didn’t!) discover about the real magic of your work.
This is far from the end of this journey… We’ll keep exploring how to describe your real magic throughout this series. And, I’m always here to help.
The Sovereign Writers Circle is welcoming new members through March 1.
And, I’m always available for individual healing & consulting through the Sovereignty Sessions.
Are you dreaming the dream or doing the dream?
It's Friday, and that means I am breaking a rule by breaking out of my writing bubble, but I trust that it's ok to give myself permission to do that.
My current work in progress describes how the Celtic Sovereignty Goddess guides women through the transitions of modern life. Why write a book about crowning the queen within if you can't rewrite a few rules along the way? Especially when I'm taking these moments to write to you and the rest of my beloved community of healers, writers, and creatives.
My little one is home with me today, and it might make more sense to hit the grocery store and put away all that laundry so I can empty the baskets and start the whole process again. But, instead, I'm giving myself permission to let her watch Moana for the twelfth time and I am using this stolen hour to do the dream.This is new for me. Until just a few weeks ago, I'd never allow myself to sit down and work on my creative projects before the kids' bedtime. It seems the Sovereignty Goddess is whispering: it's time.
Dreaming Time and Doing Time
This life I lead, as a mother and a creative entrepreneur, it offers ample time for dreaming.
Driving the kids around, throwing together yet another soup, dealing with all that laundry... When the girls amuse one another and when I remind myself that it's ok to turn off NPR (the madness in Washington will go on whether I listen to every news report or not), I find new vast new territories within my own mind.
Yes, this life with small children may give me time to dream, but it often leaves very little time to do. I have time for my clients, of course. I have time to co-create the podcast. But time to actually do my own writing? That has often seemed impossible...
But then, this book project awoke within me. Re-awoke, I might say, but I am not 100% sure that's a word.
With the spring rains, with the rising tides of my own life, and the churning waters of these tumultuous times in the collective, the Sovereignty Goddess rose out of the earth, out of the past, and out of my own past studies and told me it was time. (Get a taste of her magic here.)
And so, the S.G. gets my creative doing time every Friday, and she gets lots of dreamtime in between. And I feel more alive than I have in long, long time.
Out of the Barren Territory of "Just a Dream"
I'm realizing how much effort I have put into dreaming the dream, and how little I devoted to doing the dream. This long time habit has left me feeling barren and lost... I was terribly accustomed to the bitter cycle of feeling inspired and then feeling disappointed as all those ideas just faded into the ethers.
What about you... are you able to dream the dream but just don't have the time and space to do the dream?
I'd love to talk with you about how I can help you capture that creative energy and turn it into words on a page that touch the hearts of your readers and potential clients.
Book a 15 minute session and we'll talk about how writing coaching can support your creative practice and transform your professional practice.
What an Irish Goddess Can Teach You About Writing & Marketing Your Practice
If I had one wish for you, it would be that you would stand sovereign in your life, in your story, and, yes, in the marketplace.
Sovereignty is at the heart personal fulfillment and professional success. When you are Sovereign, you are the confident, compassionate ruler of your own life. You don't assume that you can control everything, but you are sure of your worth and guided by your dedication to the greater good.
For the healer, therapist, or coach who wants to change lives with her vision and her work, sovereignty is a beautiful thing to aspire to.
A quick Irish history lesson (and a good story to tell over a few pints of Guinness!)
But, before it was applied to the modern individual, “sovereignty” has belonged in discussions of royalty and statecraft.
Goddess by Moira age 5
At the heart of Celtic myth - and particularly Irish myth - sits the Sovereignty Goddess. She is divinity made flesh and an embodiment of the land itself. In order for the king to take the throne and guarantee the fertility of his realm, he had to win favor with this otherworldly woman. And then she took him to bed to seal the deal.
Across mountains meant to be her breasts and across rivers meant to be her blood or tears, battles were waged in her name. The Sovereignty Goddess did not rule, you see. She was the power behind the throne. Or, perhaps, it's better to say the power before the throne.
She supported his royal cause and she crowned the king, but then, she had to stand aside and let him define his own destiny.
Centuries later, when the Irish farmers struggled under English rule, the Sovereignty Goddess reemerged in the folk tales. This time, she was a fairy woman representing dreams of independence. The goddess would appear to young men in a dream and incite them to take a stand for themselves, their people, and their country.
(Does this sound a but like what you do for clients? You help them along their journey of becoming and giving them the tools to succeed on their own, right?)
What does the Sovereignty Goddess have to offer the modern transformation professional?
History is starved of powerful women, so this influential creature is a welcome shot of the feminine. Certainly she got my attention when I was a student, just as she got the attention of the people who used these myths to understand their world.
But a couple of generations of feminist literary and cultural criticism has taught us that “and then a woman appears” is not always a sign of gender equality and empowerment.
Though seducing mortals and actually being a country is all very fabulous, it’s quite disempowering. The goddess is momentarily star of the origin story, but then she is pushed offstage until the hero decides to invade a neighboring kingdom in her honor.
With this in mind, what can a king-making, rabble rousing Sovereignty Goddess do for the transformation professional on their own quest to change the world?
Well, being an essential part of the prologue or “just” having a recurring role in the supporting cast is actually what being a healer is all about.
5 Lessons About Storytelling & Marketing that Only a Sovereignty Goddess Could Teach You
When you’re a therapist or healing professional writing in support of your own work, the Sovereignty Goddess can be the perfect model.
As the writer or the healer, you’re not the star. The reader is the hero. The client is the hero.
Your role is to awaken, inspire, support, facilitate. Though you hope to sustain a long term relationship with your readers and your clients, the focus is on their process and growth, not your role as guide.
Here are five ways to embody the Sovereignty Goddess and make a difference in your business and in people’s lives:
Live the Legend: Like the Sovereignty Goddess, you need a powerful legend.
Through your writing and branding, you can build visibility and a strong reputation that invites people to learn more about what you offer. Intrigued by your story as well as the social proof (what people are saying about you), prospective clients (or, perhaps, perspective heroes) will be excited to explore how you can help them rewrite their own stories.Embrace the Magic: The Sovereignty Goddess used magic to turn commoners into kings and warriors.
In our contemporary world, we have our own kinds of magic. After all, there’s something just a little mysterious in that alchemical process that turns ideas into words that help your ideal clients understand that you're the one who can help them become healed and whole.
We create and connect to magic through stories. When you sit down and write out your vision for your clients, describing what sort of transformation you know is possible, you are taking the first step in making heroes who, in turn, can be Sovereign in their own lives.Exercise Choice: Just as the goddess has the power to name her consort, you have a similar power when you decide on your ideal client and reader.
Choose someone who has the life experiences that your stories can speak to. Write for people who seek the outcomes that your work can promise. It’s in being choosy and specific that you’re most effective, telling stories that go deep and doing work that changes lives.Seek to Empower: When that young man laid down with the goddess, it was guaranteed that he’d arise an empowered man ready to make his own way in the world.
Your hero client/reader is going to use the seeds of your story to create his or her own great narrative. Ultimately, this is what you want: your audience’s new sense of success and happiness originates with you but does not permanently depend on you.
Practice Trust: The Sovereignty Goddess understood her role in the grand scheme of things: kings would pass on and young upstarts would need her to help them take their place. She trusted that in every king’s court, her story was told around the fire - the modern equivalent of being shared on the Facebook wall, the Pinterest board, and the Twitter stream.
Create content that matters to you and is designed to speak to your ideal readers and you can trust that your good work will inspire your hero client to share on your story (most likely by crediting your supporting role in their own remarkable journey).
This St. Patrick’s Day, as we celebrate all things Irish (both pagan and Christian), I’d be grateful if you shared the Sovereignty story with your community - who knows what getting in touch with their inner Celtic Goddess might do for them!
Do you need help discovering and telling your own Sovereign Story? The new program, Stand In Your Sovereign Story begins April 14.
2020 update: This post is three years old now, but some of these phrases ended up in my newly published book, The Sovereignty Knot: A Woman’s Way to Freedom, Power, Love, and Magic
A story from the cave beneath the mountain of marketing and spin
Sovereign Standard, Issue 39
Right now, every fiber of my being (except for the fibers that are occupied with holding a toddler on my hip as I help my first-grader make turkeys out of candy corns and Oreos) is occupied with story.
What does it take to translate the thoughts and emotions and in-process “stuff” into a story that engages, reveals collective insights, and exposes truths?
I don’t have the whole answer yet, but I’m getting closer.
The best writing begins in private
To allow myself the true freedom to wonder and wander, I’m dialing back my public writing. I've been pulling deep inside to where the really stories live. It's the place deep below the marketing and the spin - in the caves where the truth rubs elbows with fear and dreams struggle against despair.
[tweetthis]Story is born in caves where the truth rubs elbows with fear & dreams struggle against despair.[/tweetthis]
In a world where storytelling is celebrated as an art and foisted upon us as a marketing tactic, it’s easy to get burned out on story - particularly when you feel like you weren’t blessed with the Scheherazade gene.
I do believe that “everybody has a story” because it was reality long before it was a cliche (or the theme of a zillion ad campaigns). But there’s a lot more to unlocking natural storytelling abilities than shoving a mic or a blog password into someone's hand and commanding “have the courage to tell your story.”
The alchemy of turning "your stuff" into "Your Sovereign Story"
As 2015 dims to allow the new year to shine bright, I’ll have a great deal to say - and to offer - about this alchemical process of turning “your stuff” into “Your Sovereign Story.”
In the meantime, please give yourself permission to slow down and watch out for the unforgettable characters and plot twists (especially those who show up around your Thanksgiving table).
Begin to consciously collect the experiences that will give your stories life... I'll be back soon to help you figure out what to do with the material!
How to say the right thing when every word matters
MG_Header_w_biline_hires
Sovereign Standard, Issue 38Words are like playthings.
The amuse. They teach. They inspire. They’re the building blocks of story.
But words can also be discarded toys, spread all over the floor. Just more clutter. Meaningless and forgotten.
When mindful people (and professionals) use words mindlessly
How to say the right thing when every word matters. On writing and speaking your truth by Marisa Goudy.
Writers, healers, and clinicians whose work relies on talking it all through... Words are at the heart of what we offer. Even though language has its limits, we count on words to mean something.
And yet, I know I’m guilty of using words mindlessly.
Lapsing into profanity when I’m tired or “in a mood. ” Barking conflicting commands as I try to rally my first-grader to the bus stop. Just throwing together a bio for a social media profile without thinking about whether I am sharing the most important parts of my story.
Everyone has heard “do as I say, not as I do.” For many of us, “do as I do, not as I say” is often just as applicable.
In part, this refusal to "mind the mouth" is a stand against political correctness. It’s rebellion in the face of mindfulness.
Some of this mindless use of words is to be blamed on the influence of the culture - particularly when violence creeps into our metaphors.
And, frankly, sometimes it’s just exhaustion. It’s hard to keep track of every word when you're in a state of constant communication.
If some words matter, all words matter
I am compassionately declaring an end to my hypocrisy:
If some words have power, then all words have power. And I'm going to try my best to use my power wisely.
[tweetthis]If some words have power, all words have power. I'm trying to use my #writing powers wisely[/tweetthis]
The hurtful words and the healing words. All the language that falls in between that great spectrum of thought. Every word is important in the spells you cast, in the messages you’re sending out into the world.
“It’s just a throwaway comment” isn’t an excuse you can fall back on when you assert that words have power and resonance.
(Believe me, I am not completely happy about this pronouncement. The last thing I need are more rules or complications. But stick with me - there are lights every few feet along this tunnel into the underbelly of how we communicate!)
The resistance: nobody likes the word police
Engineers hate being married to English majors.
Oops… I just threw out “hate” and made a sweeping generalization there. I know it’s not really true. And I am almost sure that you know that I know it’s not true, but I wanted to get your attention and it felt like a fun, clever way to introduce this next point.
You see, paying close attention to your words doesn’t mean that you have to become a milquetoast writer… You just have to know when you’re throwing a bomb spiked with letters and punctuation.
When my husband and I are debating (ok, I should probably say “arguing”), I sometimes ask if he really means what he just said, because "I do no think that word means what you think it means." I tell myself I am seeking clarity and connection, not being a vocabulary zealot. And I am hoping he thinks “cute Princess Bride quote.”
Unfortunately, he doesn't like it when he feels the dictionary policewoman is calling him to task on imprecise language. “Sorry, we can’t all have master’s degrees in English!” he’ll remark.
To be fair, sometimes distracted English majors get irritated with their techy mates.
I often ask Husband to pass me “the thingie that we use to fix the baby’s toy with the stupid broken bit.” He smirks, asks whether I want the phillips head screwdriver to repair the cracked battery door, and takes care of it himself. “Sorry, we can’t all build robots for a living,” I sigh.
As a writer and thought leader-in-training you owe it to yourself to analyze your word choices
Though potentially quite illuminating, analyzing word choice in the midst of conversation feels pretty tedious. Fortunately, reviewing the way you choose and use words in your own writing is much less stressful - and quite unlikely to result in either spouse sleeping on the couch.
Thanks to the direction of my brilliant sales coach, Tami Smith, I am examining the “threads” that have shown up repeatedly in my work over the last year. It’s a quest to uncover my recurring words, concepts, and images.
This is my opportunity to pause and look at the common elements in my own stories. It’s helping me understand how I’ve been defining and living my signature concepts, Sovereignty and the Sovereign Story - often without even knowing it.
In this case, the unconscious use of language is helpful and revelatory.
Shut up, listen to yourself, and do some research
There are certain words you use again and again. Over time, you inhabit their meaning. You then expand and redefine what these words mean to better express your unique vision.
This expansion and redefinition process can be organic and even accidental as you write into a term, use it in your daily life, and shape it with your experiences.
But then, there’s even more to learn when you close your mouth, put down the pen, and start listening to yourself.
When you pause to dig into a beloved word’s history and connotations, these fresh ideas push the boundaries of your work even further. And reaching your edge beautiful thing.
Some insight into one of the mindful professional’s favorite words
One word I use constantly is “insight.”
I am drawn to insight because it folds information, knowledge, and wisdom together into a nice, two syllable package. I want to be seen as someone who is insightful and I want to be someone who opens readers and clients to their own insights.
The former academic in me cringes when I cite Wikipedia rather than go to primary source materials, but I’m giving myself permission, just this once. That’s what Wikipedia is for after all - it guides you in the initial “I wonder…” stage and then open doors to further inquiry.
Adapted from the entry on insight, the word can generally be defined as:
The capacity to gain an accurate and deep intuitive understanding of a person or thing.
Suddenly seeing a problem in a new way, connecting the problem to another relevant problem/solution pair, releasing past experiences that are blocking the solution, or seeing problem in a larger, coherent context.
In psychology, insight
occurs when a solution to a problem presents itself quickly and without warning
can mean the ability to recognize one's own mental illness
In marketing, insight
is a statement based on a deep understanding of your target consumers' attitudes and beliefs, which connects at an emotional level and provokes a clear response
Suddenly, what I thought was a nice, broad term related to imparting truths and gaining understanding reveals itself to be an important term in the field of psychology. Now, I will use it more mindfully in copy that’s directed at the clinicians in my audience. I’ll also be able to use it more skillfully in writing coaching consults and copywriting jobs for therapists.
And it’s meaningful to note that “insight” is also a marketing term. I instinctively knew that we all need insight into our ideal clients and readers, but I had no idea it was a “real” buzzword (at least according to the anonymous strangers who created this Wikipedia article).
Owning the power of words is a brave, necessary, challenging act
Once you admit to yourself that every word does have a measure of power, you can’t teach your child that old “sticks and stones” rhyme in good conscience. You can’t write off sexist or homophobic remarks as mere teasing. Never again can you ignore any threats that someone makes to herself or others.
Sounds… earnest.
If you’re a semi-irreverent soul like me, someone who doesn’t much like formalities and who thinks creativity is about coloring outside the lines, it sounds like a rather uptight way to move through life.
That’s just my fear of change speaking. I'm afraid of holding myself to a kinder, more conscious standard because I'm afraid I'll fail.
In truth, playing it fast and loose and talking or writing yourself into corners (“I know I said that, but, actually, I meant…”) is actually a much more restrictive way to live.
Yes, as you become what Don Miguel Ruiz calls “impeccable with your word,” you’ll irritate some people. You'll fall into old "whatever" speech patterns. You'll go for easy but dangerous metaphors rather than articulating your healing truth.
Trust yourself. Forgive yourself. Speak for your best self. Stand sovereign in your dedication to telling a story that you’re proud to claim as your own. Writing coaching by Marisa Goudy.
Trust yourself. Forgive yourself. Speak for your best self.
Stand sovereign in your dedication to telling a story that you’re proud to claim as your own.
Can you commit to mindfully choosing your words? Let me know you're with me in the comments and please share this post with your community.