What To Say When You Have More Questions Than Answers

Like so many parents, I've been talking with friends (endlessly) about what's going to happen with school this fall. 

That’s how I started a Facebook post on my personal profile earlier this week. I accompanied the semi-lengthy post with a photo featuring the word “(re)imagine.” Not offering any answers, I described how we’re swimming in the questions, searching out ways to imagine, again and for the first time, solutions that diminish risk, offer support, and maybe even add joy to education.

But wait, this is not a post about my thoughts on reopening schools. 

Instead, it’s an exploration of what to write about and how to show up right now - particularly as a writer/entrepreneur/transformation professional who has more questions than answers. 

This post is also an invitation to decide what topics you need to write about publicly and how you want to use your voice when  you’re journeying through the great unknown. (And there are a hell of a lot of unknowns right now.)

Before I go one, in case you are wondering:  I want to see my kids back in public school, yes, but I also see the countless flaws in the system. I’m not particularly interested in fighting to seat my kids inside a crumbling, potentially contagion-filled institution (and I don’t mean our local system specifically) when our innovation and energy actually need to be spent on how we truly educate kids, support working families, and ensure that the most vulnerable are safe and fed. Again, I have no definitive answers, just a lot of wondering, worrying, researching, and trying to sort out how to be part of the solution for my own children and for this whole generation.

What do you say when you don’t have an answer, a recommendation, or even a “hot take”?

“We live in an age of uncertainty” is a cliche at this point, but it is also true.

We’re all being forced out of the comfort zone, and out of the zone of our own expertise. And that’s not an excuse for inaction or ignorance. No matter how uncomfortable and clueless we may feel, there are big, life-changing situations that we need to understand, manage, and make decisions about. Now.

We no longer have the luxury of not having an opinion and trusting we can just go with the flow.

As one friend described it, we’re all latchkey kids who realized the phone is dead and there is no one to call when things get hard. And there are so many hard things... 

Perhaps you’re a parent struggling with if/how/when to send your kids back to school. Maybe you’re trying to transform your business model in this age of closures and restrictions.  Maybe you’re a white person who wants to take what you’ve learned in your research of racism and become a true ally to BIPOC. Maybe you’re a person of color who shakes your head when you hear your wish-they-could-be allies are finding all the reading and empathizing to be so difficult.

There are so many important issues affecting your life right now, and so many of them are outside your wheelhouse. How do you know if it’s helpful and smart to sit down and write about your opinions, ideas, and perspectives?

Here are four questions to ask yourself as you wade into the online conversation about the topics of the day...

Question One: Is this topic worth my time as a writer?

If you instantly have “a topic” in mind as you read this post, it’s worth your time.

Writing down my thoughts about the school situation was definitely helpful. After much conversation and silent rumination, something shifted when I put my ideas on a page. 

When you give yourself the time, space, and permission to take the jumble of wonder and worry swarming your mind and put them into some sort of linear order, you are practicing self care and healing. (No matter how tangled your argument, that act of translating the wilds of thought into the structure of language is a powerful, worthy act in itself.) 

Question Two:  Is it worth the attention of the reader? 

This one is trickier. Writing for oneself is healing and helpful, but posting and publishing adds a whole new level of complexity. 

When we talk about being worth a reader’s attention, we’re not talking about your worth or the worth of your ideas. Instead, you’re invited to consider whether you’re able to make a contribution to the conversation right now or whether you’re better served by sticking with your journal for a while longer.

Let’s look at my example: Parents everywhere are looking for answers, for a plan, for a sense of security and normalcy. My post offers none of that. But then, as proven by friends’ and strangers’ comments, there are many who, like me, are present in the uncertainty too. 

When we’re all in an almighty wrangle with the vast unknown, it’s enough to hear that someone else is naming the struggle and living the questions. 

It’s helpful to express a message that conveys “you are not alone.” You open readers to admit their own uncertainty and that, in turns, moves more people toward new approaches and solutions.

One way to decide whether it’s time to take to the public square (AKA the FB feed): You’re not looking for anything from your audience. You’re clear and grounded in the fact that you’re simply using your platform to think out loud. And, while you don’t just need to spread “love and light,” your contribution is basically constructive, searching out a solution on the other side of the mess. 

Question Three: Is it OK to admit that I know I do not know?

For a personal Facebook post about the unknown frontiers of educating our kids myself (something I don’t pretend to know much about), I believe it hit just the right tone. I wasn’t complaining, blaming, or expecting anyone to solve a problem for me. I was using my platform to say “my friends and I don’t know what we don’t know and no one else does either.”

There’s power in asking the questions, to be willing to say “I do not know yet, I am still in the middle.”  You let your readers and your community see your humanity and your vulnerability, and that makes you interesting, approachable, and worth caring about. 

And it’s not just a strategy to attract an audience: formulating your questions in public strengthens your skills as a thinker and a communicator. The smarter your questions, the more profound your eventual wisdom will be.

Of course, you can’t always tell that world you have no freaking idea what to do next.

My friends who are teachers - who are “supposed” to know more than the average parent even in this moment of limitless unknown - feel they cannot think aloud about education. 

In the microcosm, I can understand that. In small towns, “What Ms. ____ said” can become fuel for nightmarish social media threads and endless whispers in those backyards where all the parents are stressing over September.

When you can set aside local school district politics, however, honesty and vulnerability about the real struggles, stresses, and concerns about the future are immensely helpful fuel for the broader conversation. One voice from the front lines about the questions and the worry can inspire innovation from all sorts of unexpected corners. (My own Facebook post was inspired by an article on a teacher’s blog.)

Question 4: When you’re adrift in uncertainty, can you come back to what you know for sure?

I write to inspire and to inform my readers, yes, but, really, I write in order to know what I think. I say this to remind you that writing is a tool that can help heal and restore you - especially when you’re adrift in uncertainty. 

Consider formulating and sharing your questions about the unknowns in your life, community, and industry.  And, give yourself a chance to come back to what you know for sure.

Standing sure (and Sovereign) in your area of expertise helps your mindset and builds self trust. (We all need more reasons to feel “normal” and trust ourselves.)

It’s vital to offer your audience not just your humanity, but also your expertise. If you’re a transformation professional who offers healing, teaching, or coaching services, people need to be inspired and they need the tools and information that empower them to make real, positive change.

When we seem to have no choice but to follow Rilke’s advice and go “Live the questions,” it’s nice to remember we do have some answers.

Here’s a writing prompt:

List three questions that your ideal clients are asking that you really can answer right now.

Want my quick version of three questions my community asks that I can immediately answer?

Q: How do I stop dreaming of being a writer and actually become one?

A: Commit to a regular writing practice with the help of a dedicated community and a practiced guide. Join the Sovereign Writers Circle.

Q: How do I find some clarity in this midst of this storm when there is so much to create, and yet also so much to worry about?

A: Seek out a different way of knowing. You have uncovered so much in your own writing and soul-searching, but an outside perspective can help you frame your dreams and your struggles in a new way. Book a Tarot as Intuitive Healing Session.

Q: How do I reach the people who need my services in this crowded marketplace during this crazy difficult time?

A: Tell stories. Tell your stories. Tell the stories that enable your ideal clients to say “she sees me, she gets me, she can help me.” Join the Stand In Your Sovereign Story program in September.

You saw what I did here, of course. Yes, all of these answers are a service I provide. I’m in business to solve certain problems for people who my special kind of practical magic. It’s why you’re in business, too.

We tell stories and use our voices for so many reasons - to connect, to heal, to wonder, to problem solve, to serve, to offer, to sell.

To know your “why” in the moment you’re communicating? That can make all the difference.